Thanksgiving Special/Script
STICK 10 SHORTS: THANKSGIVING by Ancy and Solo It starts with Ben and co. going to Mart Mart. (Greeting Guy): Welcome to Mart Mart, the place place place shwaaaaaaaah (Ben): The fuck’s wrong with you (Greeting Guy): Drug drug drug drug swaous sus (Rook): i don’t (Ben): Rook, what are you doing here? (Rook): I’m a cashier here! (Ben): Don’t you do space-touring or some shit like that? (Rook): I have multiple jobs, Ben. I have a family to support. (Ben): Since when? (Rook): Well, Rayona came over one time and… let’s just say that she’s very fertile. (Ben): Gross, cat sex. Ben and company venture down the aisles. (Ferrick): Can I have a Playboy? (Ben): No don't be old just use the internet like a good boy. (Ferrick): Can I have M&M's? (Ben): No you had M&M's yesterday. (Ferrick): Can I have a Christmas calender? (Ben): It's not even December. (Ferrick): Can I have this week's Salt Weekly? (Ben): ....yes. (Ferrick): yey Ferrick picks up his copy of Salt Weekly, which isn't actually the Salt Weekly we all know and love, but rather a magazine about actual salt. (Ben): god dammit (Baumann): Guys, come look! (Ben): What? What's wrong? Ben and friends run over to the meat aisle, where Baumann is. The whole aisle is filled with meat, except one part: there's no turkey. (Ben): WHAT!? WHERE'S ALL THE TURKEY!? (Ferrick): Aw hell no. No turkey, no Thanksgiving. I'm out. Ferrick teleports away. (Ben): Gaben, can't you just make more turkey? (Gaben): Uhh, no. (Ben): Why not? (Gaben): My favorite class is the Spy. (Ben): ...huh. Dang it. Maybe grandpa Max has some turkey. Ben skypes Max on his pikltrix. Max is making meth with Kenny in the Rustbucket (foreshadowing) when his iFoon rings. It's Ben, his picture being a selfie of himself in the bathroom while Baumann is in the shower in the background. Max answers the call. (Ben): Grandpa Max, there's no turkey at Mart Mart! Is there still turkey over at your local Macklemart? (Grandpa Max): *old people noises* (Ben): ...hm. Ben hangs up. (Ben): Dang it. What are we gonna do? (Baumann): Why not do your Thanksgiving shopping at the Baumannitorium? (Ben): You don't sell turkey. (Baumann): Yes I do. (Ben): All you sell is weird alien turkey. I'm pretty sure it's made of Cannonbolt meat. Ben and friends exit Mart Mart and get back into the Chimerian Minivan, where Vilgax is waiting. (Vilgax): Hey guys! Where's the turkey? (Ben): They're out. They're all out. There's not a single place in Bellwood, in the United States, in the WORLD where they're selling turkey. No Thanksgiving for us. (Vilgax): I told you guys you should've done your Thanksgiving shopping earlier! (Baumann): You said that in April. (Vilgax): Better early than late, Iggy! (Baumann): don't They drive onto the road. It's quiet for a while. Everbody is looking sad. Suddenly, Ben jumps up. (Ben): Wait a minute! No! NO! I am not giving up this easy! Today is Thanksgiving! The day that we show our gratitude for being an AMERICAN, and for our freedom! And I'd love to do that, but I will not, NOT give my thanks, WITHOUT MY DAMN TURKEY! Ferrick teleports in. (Ferrick): Now we're talking. (Ben): Vilgax, I want you to take the van and drive to every store in America and see if they have turkey! You guys are coming with me. If there's no turkey on Earth, it has to be out there... somewhere... (Vilgax): Cool! I'll go pick up Psyphon! Vilgax drops Ben and co. off alongside the road. (Baumann): So what's the plan? (Ben): We're going turkey hunting in space! (Baumann): ...What? Why would there be turkeys in space? (Ben): Every member of Penguintrack's species is a different bird. All we have to do is go to Chalybeas and find a turkey guy, and then it's happy Thanksgiving for us! (Ferrick): I like it. It has a good design. (Ben): Baumann, can I borrow your phone? (Baumann): Alright, but if you break it... (Ben): Not what I had in mind. Ben turns into Upgrade and upgrades Baumann's cellphone into a large spacecraft. (Baumann): How does he even...? (Ferrick): Don't ask questions. They all get into Ben. (Upgrade): Hey Baumann, did you know that you're inside me now? Heehee! Baumann turns green and barfs into Ferrick's hat. They all sit down and buckle ther seatbelts. (Upgrade): Attention passengers, thank you for chosing Yoloswag Airlines. Today's flight 575 will be departing now, with our destination being Chalybeas. Our inflight movie is Shrek. We will be serving-- (Baumann): JUST GET ON WITH IT ALREADY! (Upgrade) ...okay fine. Upgrade takes off into space. (Upgrade): Hold on guys, I'm going into hyperdrive. (Ferrick): But Ben, Chalybeas isn't that far away. It's right outside the Milky Way Galaxy. (Upgrade): I'd love to talk about chocolate, Ferrick, but I have to focus on hyperdrive. Plus, Kitkat is much better. (Ferrick): That's not what I was s-- (Upgrade): OKAY KIDS HYPERDRIVE GO Ben goes into hyperdrive. (Computer): 200 spacemiles to Chalybeas. 150. 100. (Baumann): Ben? (Upgrade): Yeah? (Computer): 50. (Baumann): Shouldn't you stop? (Upgrade): No. Why? (Computer): 25. (Baumann): Because I think... (Computer): 20. (Baumann): ...That we're going... (Computer): 15. (Baumann): ...TO CRASH! Upgrade pops out of hyperdrive, ending up right in Chalybeas's atmosphere. (Computer): 10. (Upgrade): Uh oh. Hold on, we're going in hard! (Computer): 5. (Everyone): *screams in fear* (Computer) Destination reached. Ben crashes in the middle of a desert like area. The destroyed wreck turns back into Ben, and all his friends fall out of him. Ben gives Baumann his phone back. (Baumann): I'm never letting you borrow my phone again. (Ben): Where are we? And how are we gonna get out of here? (Distant Voice) Hey ho, strangers! Turkeytrack drives over to them in a golf cart. (Turkeytrack): Why, I was just out here playing some golf when some cuckoo fellers come right darn fallin' out of the sky, gobble gobble! What are you youngsters doing out here? (Ben): We're... Uhhh... Visiting. (Turkeytrack): Visiting? How splendid! Why don't you rackateers stay at my condo, with my family? We haven't had guests in a long time. Turkeys aren't exactly the most... respected kind of bird in Chalybeas, you see. (Ben): Uhh... Ben looks over to his group of friends. They all have hungry and tired facial expressions. (Ben) ...Sure. (Turkeytrack): Wonderful! Why don't you join in my little golf cart here, and we'll be off! The gang climbs into the golf cart and they drive off. Over at the Turkeytrack household, Mrs. Turkey is cooking dinner. Turkeytrack and the gang come in. (Turkeytrack): Honey, I found these poor fellers out in the desert. They ain't got no place to go. I thought we'd invite them to our home for a meal and a bed! (Mrs. Turkey): How delightful! Why don't you bring them up to their room, I'm finishing up the potato salad. Turkeytrack brings the gang up to their room and leaves them there. (Baumann): So... who's doing it? (Ferrick): Doing what? (Baumann): Killing them. (Ben): What!? Why would we do that!? (Baumann): Because they're turkies! That's why we came here in the first place! (Ferrick): This is a family. I'm here for a Thanksgiving dinner, not to start my career as a serial killer. (Baumann): Someone's gonna have to finish them off. That's why we're here, and it's gonna happen. Besides, it's just a bird couple! Who knows if they're even married! Suddenly, three turkey children come in. (Turkey Child #1): Mothers needs someone... (Turkey Child #2): ...To help with... (Turkey Child #3): ...The potato salad. The three of them leave. The gang all stare at Baumann. (Baumann): ...Okay, so they have kids. But hey! More turkey, the merrier! (Ferrick): You're a horrible person. (Baumann): Gaben, who do you think should kill the Gobble-Gobbles? (Gaben): After 10,000 years in development. (Baumann): 10,000. 10. Ben 10. Welp, good luck, Ben! (Ben): wait what The gang push Ben out into the hall and lock the door. (Ben): Fucking hell. Ben goes downstairs. The turkey children are sitting at the table. Mrs. Turkey is cooking. (Mrs. Turkey): Hi there, hun! Could you do me a favor and hand me that knife? The word "knife" echoes through Ben's head. He walks over and grabs the knife from the kitchen counter. It's long, and sharp. Perfect for stabbing. All that is heard is Ben's heartbeat. He looks at the children, and then at Mrs. Turkey. She's waiting for him to hand her the knife. He looks to the children again, and back to Mrs. Turkey. Back and forth, back and forth. Finally, he raises the knife high above his head. Cut to Turkeytrack reading the Daily Nest in the living room. (Turkeytrack): *sniff sniff* Something's burning. Honey, are you watching the stove? ....Honey? Turkeytrack walks to the kitchen. He is greeted by a blood-covered Ben. His look is that of a demented clown's, happy with silent rage inside. The dead bodies of the Turkey family are piled up next to him. (Turkeytrack): What the...? (Ben): Hello, John. Why don't you join us... for dinner? Psycho shower scene music plays. Ben stabs Turkeytrack in the chest multiple times, but all you see is the shadows of them on the wall. (Turkeytrack): *screaming, then exhaling his last breath* Turkeytrack falls to the floor. Baumann comes downstairs, and peaks around the corner. (Baumann): Ben....? Ben turns around to Baumann, the same demented look still on his face. (Ben): It is done. Cut back to Earth. It's Thanksgiving dinner, and everyone is happy, eating their turkey. (Vilgax): Where did you guys find this turkey? It's great! (Baumann): We went to a... Special place. (Rook): Oh, mysterious. While everyone is happy, under the table is Ben, eating the decapitated head of Turkeytrack as he cuts his wrists and cries. THE END Category:Scripts